DA VINO TEARFUL AS WHALEBONE LOOK FOR NEW SUPREMO [27/08/08 04:41:59]

With the Willy Gees match called off, the Whalebone season came to a premature end and a tired and emotional Paul da Vino (pictured right) bid farewell to the captaincy of the Fingringhoe pub side he has held so dear over the last three and a half years.

Inheriting the leadership from the befuddled Sam Burroughes, Da Vino presided over what many will surely describe as the 'golden age' of Whalebone cricket. Many an arguement will rage at the pub or at The Brow as to the greatest line up, but who will forget batsmen of the calibre of Potts, Aidy and the Major; the swing and seam bowling of the Vic and Porky; the three great allrounders: the Cock, Buffoon and the skipper himself and the masterful heroics of slimline Godfrey Evans-like 'keeper Arthur 'Slinger' Bacon?

Their record under Da Vino of 15 wins from 22 matches is unlikely to be equalled and the team will surely enter the pantheon of Fingringhoe greats alongside Brian Le Blanc, John Everett and Mike Bowler.

Supping his first Corona (with lime) of the day, Da Vino read a brief statement to the gathered press corps: "It's been a privilege skippering such a great bunch of lads and although many would consider us the greatest pub side in the world, we've kept true to the corinthian principles of laughing our heads off, tireless p***taking and getting blathered wherever and whenever possible".

He added, "I would like to thank Wardy and the Scotts for preparing countless wickets, Vicky and Louisa for the countless nosebags and Ev for relieving us of countless 30 quids. Oh Christ lads, I'm going to have to stop, I'm welling up again....." With that the now ex-skipper was bundled into a waiting car and was gone.

Tributes have already started to flood in from around the world. Errant overseas star Paul Le Ford, currently serving another three match ban said from his Mersea hideaway "I know we've had our differences over discipline, but I'm sorry Junior, he is the best skipper I've ever played for. Perhaps now it's all over I'll take him out and get him well and truly fesslered!"

From Melbourne, Aussie legend Carrum 'Foureyes' Orangebackyard also fondly reminisced about his 'bone debut: "I was playing for them in the Chairman's 10/10 tournament. The skip had us all on our first pints at the bar by 10a.m. Amazing! I was that pissed, by 12 o'clock, I couldn't see a thing. Hang about, I can't see a thing period! Anyone seen my coke bottles?"

New Zealand star Temara "Airy" Downbellowa speaking from his small 800,000 acre cattle ranch also heaped praise on Da Vino saying "To have played for the 'bone while I was over there was the pinnacle of my cricketing career. When I phoned home and told the old man I was playing with Neil, Sparky and all the other legends he was absolutely gobsmacked. For a guy from rural Waikato, this is what dreams are made of."

One dissenting voice was that of underfire ADCC Head of Security John Stockbridge (69) who said "F***ing good riddance to the c**t, I never liked him. It was always me who had to clear up the wreckage after him and his f**ing cronies would trash the clubhouse or upset my mate John Everett with their serenading. Bunch of w***ers!".

Final word came from the mysterious Neil, who e-mailed the website with his own tribute. "To say Da Vino is a good captain is probably an overstatement. He constantly gave inferior players high batting positions and his run of wins was almost certainly down to the quality of the opposition. Nevertheless, he will be missed not least because, unlike some, he always stood his round".