NEW EQUIPMENT RANGE FOR MINORITY GROUPS [20/05/08 09:12:53]

The website has learned that a major UK cricket equipment manufacturer is on the verge of releasing a range of personal equipment especially designed to meet the needs of minority groups such as our good friends across the Strood.

This information is not yet in the public domain, but an insider (who asked not to be named) informed the website "This will be a first. No other manufacturer has seen the light and spotted the tremendous marketing potential of providing equipment for these chaps." He added, "In the past, the poor devils have had to sneak two fingers down one finger stall. This is terribly uncomfortable for them and makes it difficult to play shots other than the hoik over cow corner or the dibbly-dabbly through the gully area."

The name of this new range will be the 'Mersea High Six' (pictured right) and supplies could be with the retailers as early as late June if difficulties with the factories in India can be ironed out. This morning, Mohindra Chutney of the Banglaore company 'Cricket Is Us, Isn't It' was confident that current production problems could be overcome and that the gloves would soon be on their way to the UK.

Professor Ernest Dullard of the University of Royston Vasey was excited about the 'equalisation' of opportunity. He commented, "There is no doubt that some clubs have been at a disadvantage in the batting department for many years and, having viewed the prototypes, I think it is highly probable that their players will gain immense benefit."

He did however concede that such players had enjoyed unfair success when it came to bowling, as the extra digit allowed a greater spin to be imparted at the point of delivery and this could be massively exploited when playing on 'pudding' pitches.