Full Name:  Callum James Bruce Morphy Richards Appleyard

Nicknames:  Apples

Birthplace:  Wagga Wagga, 1982

Residence:  Abberton Cricket Club

Where educated:  You are having a laugh! University of Wallamalloo.

Occupation:  General Factotum, official personal cricket dvelopment guru to Andy Lockyer

Previous clubs:  West Coburg, Prahran, Hippodrome

Abberton debut:  v Witham, 2005

Career HS:  114 v Elmstead Grasshoppers, 2005

Career BB:  8-32 v Little Bardfield Village, 2005 (9-32 if you count Playstation cricket!)

Cricketing achievements:  three wickets in an over v Kirby, 2007

Best non-professional played with:  Jack Osbourne, Lloyd Parker-Bowles

Biggest cricketing influence:  Dennis Lillee (bowling), Ricky Ponting (batting)

Favourite local ground:  Easton

Least favourite local ground:  West Mersea

Favourite Abberton player:  Barry Rudlin

Three sporting legends:  David Hussey, Mike Hussey, Mrs Hussey

Other sports played: Football, shower watersports, pool

Most memorable sporting moment:  Beating Ev 10-0 at pool, 2007

One piece of advice to young players:  No sex before a game but fifteen pints of Magners is OK

Favourite food:  Anything bought by Ev!

Favourite drink:  Alcohol

Biggest fear in life:  Drowning at the Hippodrome Foam Party

Newspaper read:  The Sun, Daily Sport

Favourite 'lower shelf' periodical:  Don't understand the question