'WORTH TESTS' PLANNED FOR NON-VILLAGERS [20/02/08 18:25:03]

Radical new plans have been unveiled by the Government for those 'immigrants' from outside the associated villages who wish to play for ADCC. Under the new regime, anybody from, say, Colchester who harboured an understandable desire to represent the club, would be required to pass a 'worth test' as a form of qualification.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said that the special inhabitants of Abberton & Langenhoe were entitled to expect a "demonstration of commitment" and the process of joining a select club like ADCC should be "more exacting".

The move was welcomed by Harriet Ponsonby-Smallpiece, Chair of Keep Abberton Special.

She has long campaigned for membership to be restricted to local residents, mainly because her son Jeremy (see Who's Who) finds his opportunities in the 4th XI rather limited because of the inflitration of non-villagers.

However, there are grave doubts that the new plans will be effective as a pilot scheme on nearby Mersea was abandoned after only half a season when only 3% of their playing staff managed a pass score.

Advocates of the scheme might argue that Mersea is hardly a representative sample of the UK as the population is at a serious disadvantage with the numeracy part of the exam when it was discovered that their extra fingers and webbed feet make counting very difficult.