OPINIONS DIVIDED ON OVERSEAS FIXTURES [16/02/08 08:22:30]

The row surrounding the leaked plans to host some PDQ League fixtures abroad has continued in the twenty fours since this website exposed the cunning stunt which seemed to favour certain clubs that had representation within the PDQ bureaucracy.

There continues to be a mixed reaction at The Brow where individuals have not been slow to come forward and offer their thoughts. Accusations abounded that this was the latest brainchild of incontinent (as opposed to 'on the continent') financial controller John Everett and was just the another in a long string of money-grabbing proposals designed to swell club funds.

Neighbour-from-hell Everett has already angered some members by introducing steep increases on subscriptions and match fees. There is now further resentment to what was perceived his next master plan. However, The bearded treasurer remained unmoved on his return from an expensive holiday last night, "We have been trialling playing in harsh, foreign, third world countries for several years when we go to Mersea" he explained, adding "Once the jabs and the problems with the language were dealt with there were no issues at all".

It was clear that the £ signs were almost visible in front of his eyes and he was fooling nobody when he went on, "The time is right for us to embrace the international aspects of our game and reach out across the globe to our fanbase. This is not a money-driven exercise."

New Bar Manager Dave Root was also excited about the possibility of Abberton playing Colchester & East Essex in Tehran during 2009. The usually taciturn committee man welcomed the opportunity of returning to his Islamic fundamentalist roots - at the expense of the club of course.

Cllr Craig Sutton (Con, Berechurch) (pictured above right) is one who has already experienced overseas activity for the club and is no doubt eager to return to Amsterdam, the scene of his highest score of 1 not out, whilst former Ground Curator John Ward has campaigned for many years for Abberton to take a team to Turkey.

Its not all plain sailing, or rather flying, however. Leading airlines of the world were quick to react to the threat of the Saturday 2nd XI flying to far-off destinations. Mustapha el Fatwa bin Raghead, European Operations Director of Emirates Air said that his company would be penalising obese cricketers by charging for each kilo of body weight as opposed to baggage. Matilda Waltzing of Quantas agreed and said "It is well known that many of the Abberton team are just greedy, fat b***ards and we will need to levy additional fuel charges to cart them across the world".