OFFICIALS EXPRESS CONCERN OVER HEADSCARVES [10/02/08 18:11:13]
A number of senior club offcials have expressed concern over consititutional amendements easing the ban on wearing headscarves at The Brow. This follows a similar ruling recently decreed by Turkey's parliament.
Treasurer John Everett was appalled by the lack of vision shown by those responsible for easing the laws. From his holiday retreat in the Norfolk countryside he said, "This has enormous issues for the club. If our members are allowed to wear the burka, how can I ensure that they are paying the correct subscriptions. It could be a huge loss of revenue for the club if our male players pretend they are lady members and pay a reduced annual subscription."
Newly-elected Bar Manager Dave Root was equally apprehensive adding "I have serious concerns that we may be guilty of serving under age members as the burka makes it very difficult to ascertain who is behind the headscarf".
Under-fire Head of Security John Stockbridge (68) felt that the ruling could give rise to security issues of mammoth proportions and would make his job all the more difficult. He advised the website, "This is a f***ing joke, everybody will be wearing these f***ing black hoods and it will be impossible to police the club's boundaries." He proposes to ask the Committee for an increased budget to provide additional officers on match days.
Mark Tokley, who also masquerades as an umpire when not performing for the club, had his own worries and labelled the decision "farcical". He protested, "If players wear these ridiculous headscarves, it is just possible that an individual could bat two or three times during an innings without being detected. Similarly, they might sneakily bowl more than their permitted over allocation".
To prove this last point, the website asked three of our players to model the controversial burkas. As you can see (picture right), it is impossible to determine who is the opening bat and who is the team 'rabbit'!
Club Chairman Simon Swinn is thought to be extremely distressed by the implications and will be calling an urgent meeting of his chief decisionmakers to discuss the matter.
