PIGS REPRIEVED AFTER BLUE TONGUE SCARE [06/10/07 07:40:09]

Local landowners and livestock breeders were today celebrating the reprieve of Patience and Percy Pig (seen right showing what they think of an ADCC defeat earlier in the season) after the club's Vet Paul Welton had confirmed that they were suffering from the dreaded disease Blue Tongue which has seen animals culled all over East Anglia recently.

They were due for a dawn slaughter but, just as they were sitting down to their last breakfast of mashed apples and cereal, the government agency DEFRA gave them a last minute reprieve when Professor Peregrine Porker (apparently no relation) totally discredited the self-appointed vet's findings and declared the swine safe.

Although there were scenes of joy and jubilation in Abberton and Langenhoe, Welton and his buddies down in Fingringhoe were left bemoaning the cancellation of their planned early morning hog roast.

It is understood that the club's Head of Security, John Stockbridge (68), a lifelong vegetarian who recently starred in TV's Hell's Kitchen, is anxious to interview Welton regarding his part in the scare.