SPONSORSHIP AWARD FOR SAVILL [17/07/07 02:48:16]

All-rounder Keiran Savill received the news yesterday that he has been selected to receive a special sponsorship from the famous fast food chain MuckDonald's.

The burly teenager (pictured middle right), who recently finished 62nd out of a field of 78 in an ADCC 'quick single' competition, was naturally delighted at the nomination and vowed to train hard and improve his fitness level to that of a pregnant hippopotamus.

The scholarship includes a 'season ticket' which can be used at any MuckDonald's outlet in the country, as often as he likes for one year! This should save the permanently hungry middle order batsman and off spinner a colossal amount in food bills.

Speaking on behalf of MuckDonald's, their European Director of Marketing Herr Hugh Gutz said from the company's German headquarters, "Ve are very peased to be giving zis avard to Keiran. He has proved himself to be very capable player. Ve haf seen him viz both bat unt ze ball and are very impressed."

The former U-boat kommander went on, "Also, his movement in ze field reminds us of der panzer tank. Above all zo, he is remarkable at ze tea table. It is a great pity he is a Britischer schwein, but ve must forgive unt forget, nein?"

This morning, after the news, other purveyors of fast food in Colchester were worriedly calculating how much this sponsorship might cost them in escaped revenue. It is anticipated that there could be major industry job losses as a result of MuckDonald's generosity and one competitor branded their action a cheap publicity stunt.