ABBERTON GOES SMOKEFREE [01/07/07 08:11:55]

Smokers across England have sparked up at work and in the pub for the last time as the ban on smoking in enclosed public places begins. The new law, which came into effect at 6.00am this morning, is intended to cut deaths from second-hand smoke. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland already have similar bans in place.

Many venues held farewell events for the final night of smoking on Saturday, while local authorities are preparing to enforce the ban. Doctors estimate second-hand kills more than 600 people a year. The government also hopes it will help smokers to quit, and discourage children from taking up the habit.

There has been a mixed reception the streets of Abberton this morning as Treasurer John Everett was joyously erecting the mandatory signs in and around the clubhouse. He reckons the new laws will save him hundreds of pounds in cleaning bills each year.

The club does however have some prolific smokers in its ranks and it is hoped that the non-smokers will show respect and understanding for the plight of their inconvenienced colleagues and not gloat too much.

Secrtetary Ray Clay was not available for comment on his hands free phone in his smoke free taxi but Head of Secret Police John Stockbridge claims his habits will not change because of the government's laws and said "f*** them!".