FRIDAY CUSTOMERS UP IN ARMS [22/06/07 21:37:40]

Friday night saw disturbing scenes in the ADCC pavilion when tempers rose after it was discovered that, through an almost unbelievable level of gross incompetence, the Bar Steward had failed to replenish supplies of Smirnoff Ice.

The usual peaceful atmosphere of a ladies' fixture was shattered after a senior club member was informed that supplies of his favourite 'girlie drink' tipple (shown right) had been exhausted and that no fresh orders had been submitted to the suppliers.

The Bar Steward, when contacted, complained that he was naked and just about to take a bath, the vision of which visibly distressed and revulsed the female contingent in the bar area.

Attempts were made to contact the Head of Secret Police John Stockbridge but, perhaps not surprisingly, he was unavailable for comment and his office refused to confirm or deny that he was again being interviewed for the manager's job at Manchester City.