MYSTERY SUBSTANCE IDENTIFIED [05/06/07 20:46:06]

In parts of Africa, tropical South America and Borneo and Sarawak there has always been a serious problem from small insects which have a potentially lethal bite. Many travellers have been affected by this. They are prone to attack very sensitive areas of the body.

With the advent of climate change and budget airlines the insects are now appearing in parts of the developed world such as High Woods and areas of Suffolk. In response to this pharmaceutical companies have produced substances such as Aqueous cream, known by the more familiar name of Suffolk anti-midge ointment.

This when applied to the sensitive areas can provide a modicum of relief. However, the effect has been known to wear off during the course of a game when the person concerned suffers great agony and pain.

This manifests itself in a stance of hands on hips and a fixed stare on the face. For a time this was thought to be a response to a dropped catch or a mis field. However, we now know that the person concerned is in great pain.

There has been a suggestion that the others players should show their sympathy for his plight by blowing cold air onto the affected area. However, this could be subject to misinterpretation by the Head of Security or the Welfare Officer. The exposure of this situation might bring to an end the pose described above. This would be unfortunate as it does serve as a warning to the other players that the Suffolk midges are in the (sensitive) area.